Gustav Ratzenhofer
From WikiYourFriends.com
Known for his homosexual prowess Gustav is the talk of his small swamp town. He is known to meander about town thrusting his 3-inch penis at anything that moves in his blurred vision.
This is suspected of being the cause of his severe myopia, as it frequently causes his eyewear to become smudged.
In related news, the state of Florida is considering a state-wide ban on short-shorts for men over the age of 92. Gus has sworn to take this fight to the Supreme Court, provided that he can find a pair of short-shorts that will fasten just below his armpits.
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May be responsible for the disappearance of several capybaras.